PRIVACY POLICY

With thanks to WritersHQ, our supreme writing commanders, glorious leaders and excellent but tiny overlords, who have verily granted us permission to use their splendid and sweary Privacy Policy.

(Read the privacy policy at WritersHQ. It’s funnier than mine, though mine is modeled after theirs.)

I need to have a privacy policy to explain how I comply with the GDPR (General Data Protection Regulation) because God knows there are not enough actual exciting books in the world for you to read. You need to read 1,000 words of legalese nonsense that makes not one bit of difference to anyone, ever.

My privacy policy is based on one I borrowed from www.writershq.co.uk. I’m modeling their’s because they’re funny and GRPR compliant privacy policies cost money. I’d rather spend the money I have on books so I can read more and suggest books that will be useful to you. Not that lawyers and legal forms aren’t worthy of my money. They are. But I’d rather wait until I’m actually making money before I start spending it on lawyers.

The best part about the GDPR is that it has to be “concise, transparent, intelligible and easily accessible” so hold on to your hats, this is going to be the shortest, clearest and best freakin’ privacy policy you ever did see.

Here we go…

I’m a one-person blog owner who is much more interested in reading books than doing anything nefarious with your data. I collect and store the info I need to provide you with the benefits you get from reading this website. That’s it. Really.

COOKIES—Do you even know what a cookie is or does? I don’t. Yes, I use cookies because that’s kinda how the Internet works. If you don’t want my delicious home-baked chocolate chip scripts, then you need to block cookies on your browser but don’t come crying to me when nothing does what it’s supposed to.  I’m speaking from experience. I’ve tried blocking cookies on sites I’m visiting but then the sites don’t work. I don’t know why. Someone smarter than me will have to explain that to you.

STALKY VISITOR TRACKING—Look, I follow you, ok? I use Google Analytics, primarily to stare at the real-time stats because they’re cool but also to see what stuff people are looking at so I can write more of the stuff you like.

Squarespace, which hosts this blog and is much more user-friendly than Wordpress, tracks data, too. They do so to provide me with analytics about the site. However, I never read the analytics from Squarespace. 

None of these things store any super personal data about you, but probably they capture your IP address, not that I’d know where to look for it or what to do with it. All I see is that a person or many people have interacted with the website in a particular way. You can mess with me by doing something entirely unexpected on the site and skewing my stats. Or you could do something way more fun and useful with your time LIKE READING A BOOK.

DATA STORAGE—DATA!! It’s all about the data, baby. A literal ton of petabytes (I had to google petabytes to see if that was a real word) whirring around the world and what? What’s it all for? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN? What will future historians see of us and our slowly collapsing society? So. I store your data in a few different places and use it in a couple of different ways. You ready for this?

Here on this website! If you register with the site, I will store your name and email address. I’ll be honest: I do absolutely nothing unsurprising or radical with your info. I collect your name and email address to send you newsletters. That’s it.

MailerLite! If you’ve signed up for anything on this site – newsletter, free course, freebie, anything – your name and email address also makes its way over to MailerLite, which is the system I use to manage my newsletters and emails. They are (allegedly) GDPR compliant. You can unsubscribe from emails at any time by hitting the unsubscribe button.

EMAIL MARKETING AND NEWSLETTER— If you sign up to my newsletter, I will send you a newsletter – generally one every week or two, but occasionally more if there is more exciting stuff to tell you. You can unsubscribe at any time by clicking the unsubscribe button in every email. Your name and email address are stored securely in MailerLite.

MailerLite automatically adds tracking things to links so if you click on a link I KNOW. If you open an email, I KNOW. If you ignore me reminding you to be reading, I KNOW.

The most important thing about this is I have neither the time nor inclination actually to look at or do anything with these stats.
 
YOUR RIGHT TO BE DELETED—Fine. Be that way. If you want me to delete your information from this website, send an email to jennifer at wordswithjennifer dot com, and I’ll remove all the info I have on you from my systems while having a passive-aggressive huff about what I could have possibly done wrong. This is JUST to have your information removed from this site. If you want to unsubscribe from email, you need to use the UNSUBSCRIBE button in the email.
 
SOCIAL MEDIA AND ALL THAT—I use social media a lot, mostly to promote books and reading and writers and authors and myself, because well, I want you to follow me and listen when I tell you what to read. If you follow me, I might follow you back and interact with you. But you can always ask me to not talk to you, and I will, of course, respect your boundaries. And you are under no obligation to follow me. Boy, I’ll bet you’re relieved to know that, aren’t you?

Keep in mind that each social media site has it's own privacy policies and you'll also need to read those riveting pieces if you want to know how they are handling your data.

Ok, that’s it. Thank you again to the wonderful ladies at WritersHQ for this privacy policy. You have my undying gratitude. I’m not so funny on my own.