Girl, Stop Apologizing: The Ultimate Goal-Setting Guide
You’ve spent hours thinking about.
The big, audacious goal you have.
The dream that fills your every waking thought.
The idea that makes you feel alive.
The vision of a life where you’re everything you’ve ever dreamed you’d be.
But that’s all it’s ever been. A dream. A vision.
You’ve never made any real progress with it.
Oh, sure, you’ve made a vision board. Maybe set up a website. Made a few phone calls.
But things keep getting in the way. You have children to raise. Your husband needs your support with his business. Your parents are getting older and could use some help around the house. Your church needs someone to head up that committee. The school needs PTA volunteers. Your day job takes up a lot of time.
So on and so forth.
There’s always something that gives you a reason to hold off on pursuing your dreams.
Rachel Hollis will give it to you straight. If you want a different life, if you want to achieve your goals, if you want to be all the things you’re meant to be, you’ve got to take action.
How do you do that? How do you make your big, crazy dreams come true?
Rachel lays it out for you in Girl, Stop Apologizing.
Girl Stop Apologizing is set up much like Girl, Wash Your Face. But instead of the chapters being lies you believe about yourself, the chapters are the excuses you tell yourself, the behaviors you need to practice, and the skills you should gain.
Excuses To Let Go Of
In Part 1, Rachel covers all the excuses you use to justify why you’re not chasing your dreams. Some examples are: I don’t have time (excuse #3), or It’s been done before (excuse 7).
Behaviors To Adopt
In Part 2, she discusses the behaviors you need to cultivate to achieve your goals. Examples are: Ask For Help (Behavior #4) and Stop Allowing Them To Talk You Out Of It (Behavior #6).
Skills To Acquire
Part 3 of Girl, Stop Apologizing is all about the skills you need to be successful. These would include Confidence (Skill #2) and Persistence (Skill #3).
The whole book is full of little nuggets of wisdom. Rachel hits the entire range of excuses you tell yourself about why you can’t accomplish your goals. While you may not identify with some reasons, you’ll find yourself in at least one of them.
Here are the things I learned that I’m eager to apply.
10,10,1—10 Years, 10 Dreams, 1 Goal
10,10,1 is the basis for Rachel’s Start Today journal.
The details are (obviously) in the book, but it boils down to:
Who do you want to be in 10 years?
What kind of life do you want to be living?
What are 10 dreams that reflect the life you want to be living in 10 years?
What is the one goal you can focus on right now that will move you closer to fulfilling one of those 10 dreams?
Then every day, you write out these 10 dreams as if they have already happened. You’re reminding yourself every day who you want to be and what you want to accomplish.
Choose One Dream and Go All In
I loved reading Rachel’s thoughts on going all-in on one goal. This is an area where I get tripped up all the time. I want to do everything, and I want to do it all right now. Rachel reminded me you get more accomplished when you’re laser-focused on one goal. Nail that goal and then move on to the next. Stop splitting your attention between 10 different things because you accomplish so much less.
By the way, Go All In is my phrase for 2019. I was listening to one of the Rise podcast episodes in late 2018, and Rachel started talking about going all-in on your dreams. It smacked me upside the head, hard.
I never go all in. On anything. I always hold back. I like to say that outside of marriage, I have serious commitment issues.
What if I fail?
What if I change my mind?
What if it doesn’t work out?
What if I wasted a bunch of time?
What if I waste a bunch of money?
And I realized that if I was going to accomplish anything, I had to stop thinking like that. I needed to go all-in, really work, and give it everything I had. Because if I keep holding back over all the “what ifs,” I would never accomplish anything.
The other concept I was really excited about was the skill section on planning. In this section, Rachel teaches you how to create a road map for your goals. She credits the road map for reaching all the goals she set for herself.
First, you start with the end. What do you want to accomplish? Write it down.
Then you hop back to the beginning. And this next part is good—I’ve never heard anyone suggest this step.
Before you create your roadmap for how you’ll reach your end goal, you need to figure out what you already have to work with. What skills do you have that will be useful? Any connections? A random pot of money you can use to fund things? You also need to list the obstacles that might pop up. Like bad habits. How can you plan to avoid the things that will get in your way? How will you deal with interruptions?
I thought the taking inventory step was wise. You may already have so much going for you. You may have assets you haven’t considered. But you won’t know until you sit down and start making lists.
After you have your starting point figured out, you create guideposts and mile markers. They act as checkpoints on your road map. Sometimes you get lost, get off track. You chase new and shiny ideas. The guideposts will direct you back. “Oh yeah, that’s what I’m supposed to be working on.”
I really enjoyed Girl, Stop Apologizing. If you read only one book by Rachel Hollis, Girl, Stop Apologizing is the book you want. It’s filled with actionable teaching that, if you use it, will help you get where you want to go.
Have you read Girl, Stop Apologizing? If not, you can order your copy here and get started on making your dreams your reality.